The Chaiwala Team

After months of a marketing campaign that would have left people at Ogilvy in shame, Mr. Narendra ‘Chaiwala’ Modi has been sworn as the 15^th Prime Minister of the biggest democracy on this watery planet.

We Indians like change. And in a democratic setup, a change is of utmost importance. Change to show that a particular surname will not run this country forever, a change to show that we Indians have finally grown an interest in politics, even though it is only restricted to Social Media( In our defence, sitting on a laptop all night long fighting over status updates is tough).

Even though I was another vocalist singing for change, I never liked the Hindutva music of the saffron brigade’s khadi shorts. But this time around, the shorts gang was singing a new tune.

“Namo Namo Namo”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9ucpaT5xjg

(This is just too amazing not to share). Listening to this tune, I grabbed my old civics book and read about Indian Lok Sabha elections. No, this was not the American Presidential elections where you vote for the leader and do not even look at the candidate who has applied from your constituency.

As much as I criticise the way people have voted, I must admit the only party that deserved to win was BJP. INC were busy creating a pit for the Shehzaada, and Mr. Kejriwal had already jumped into one himself, resigning from Delhi’s Chief Minister’s post.  

In short, I am happy. Happy that Indians still are unsatisfied, and still dream of a first world India and will continue reminding politicians that they are being watched.

This post is not about whether Mr. Modi is the correct Prime Ministerial choice, but about the dilemma I have always had: What Cabinet will Mr. Modi have once he is elected to the PMO? Because one thing is clear, INC and LEFT have been grooming intellectuals for years, the BJP continues to overlook this aspect of politics.

People may disagree, but in my opinion you need to have proper knowledge and education to run a portfolio, that too at the highest level of administration in India. But given the options (they were very few) Mr. Modi has managed a decent cabinet, who I score 6.5/10 on face value (I would love them for proving me wrong, on the positive end of the scale).

I will divide my opinion into 3 sections: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of the Cabinet selection.

THE GOOD:

• The Factor that Modi has selected a small team is amazing. I am a big fan of “Jeff Bezos’ 2 pizza a Team principle” Smaller cabinet for quick decisions is an amazing concept being drafted into the highest administrative office of India.
• Mr. Arun Jaitley: Honestly, the only minister who would fit into any Cabinet, and into any role. Having a very clean image, he is well respected amongst all political circles.
• Getting some very smart and educated people on board. Mr. Harsh Vardhan( the almost CM of Delhi) is an ENT Surgeon and knows the health sector inside out.And Gen VK Singh, who even after the controversies is the best person who can lead the North Eastern region out of the chaos it is in.
• One of another pleasant news from this front is that 1/4^th of the Cabinet are women.( though I expected better people than Ms. Irani and Ms. Bharti)
• I was so happy to know that the goons (Shiv Sena) have a very less representation in the Cabinet. I am still clueless though, why does Maharashtra even vote for them?
• By putting low-profile, low-ego ministers in charge of some of these ministries, Modi has probably tried to ensure that his ministers do not get into needless tussles with state governments, especially if they are run by opposition parties.

 

THE BAD:

• There were people, who though new, were way more educated and knowledgeable about some portfolios than their present occupants. Example: Mr. Jayant Sinha is an IIT Delhi and Harvard alumnus having studied Business Administration from the Ivy League wonder. Similarly, Mr. Abhishek Singh has a degree in industrial Relations from XLRI. But I know, degrees are not important to lead a nation, political prowess is.
• Smriti Irani: A Miss India aspirant who is just a “Class 12^th pass “and has never been to college been given the HRD Portfolio. Are you kidding me? Though many people may debate against it, this is very stupid. How can someone who has never been to college understand how higher education needs improvement with girls wearing makeup to become an actress?
• A not very equal representation in the Cabinet from all the states. Himachal, Uttarakhand, Rajasthan are some of the states where, even after sweeping almost all the seats, there are only a trickle of seats visible in the Cabinet. ( I really hoped to see Maj. Gen. Khanduri on those ranks)

 

THE UGLY:

• Uma Bharti: Why oh why? A 6^th pass, 13 criminal cases, wants to “wipe off Muslims” is on the highest administrative body of the “modern India”. I agree Mr. Modi has the RSS to please, but he has sealed Ganga’s fate. It is never getting cleaned.
• A cabinet Minister’s average worth is Rs. 18.66 crore. Where? Where does this money come from? Why cannot India have middle class Ministers?
• 27 Criminal cases against the Ministers in the Cabinet. Whatever happened to having a clean government, having people like Madam Bharti and Sanjeev Baliyan( Muzzaffarnagar MP accused of inciting violence in the recent riots) is simply making a mockery of the Indian sstem of governance.( Not that this never happened before, But we were expecting a Change.)

 

Credits: To the person who has made this amazing cartoon.

The NaMo Chant

Today I have a friend writing a ‘guest post’ for me. As I am a very confused citizen on who to vote and who not to, she gives us a strong perspective about the very same. This article was also published in the Youth Connect Magazine.

P.S: This is not a hate post, just an individual opinion which everyone has a right to express, in person or in public.

Writer: Shruti Chaturvedi
Cartoonist: Satish Acharya
Courtesy: Shagufta Khan

THE NAMO CHANT

Your vote in the upcoming elections will shape the country’s future. A choice made out of ignorance and deception might be too heavy a burden to carry on your conscience.

The Contenders.

By now you must have gathered that the NaMo chant isn’t to my taste, and most of you must have assumed my preferences run to Rahul Baba. Here is the deal. I go to bat for neither.
An anti-Modi doesn’t always a pro-Gandhi make! Let’s get our froggy heads out of whatever wells we seem to inhabit and open our eyes and ears to other possibilities. Mr.Modi and Mr. Gandhi aren’t the be all and the end all of Lok Sabha elections 2014.
Here is why jumping on the NaMo bandwagon is a bad idea of epic proportions!
The Congress, to collective relief, has already declared that RaGa (Who comes up with these syntactic disasters anyway?), with his foot in the mouth syndrome will not be taking over the family business. Speculations are ripe that NandanNilekani, former Infosys boss and brand new member of Indian National Congress will be their not so secret ‘Bhramastra’ and shall be pitted against Mr.Modi and his development.
Talking about options, the angry young man of Indian politics has stormed the country on his virtual broom and shaken the ‘Rajneeti’. Kejriwal is a bada*s and has the youth behind him. For all we know, he could turn out to be more fake than Anushka Sharma’s alleged lips. Or BJP’s plan B to divide the minority vote. Or Congress’s plan A (they seem to have no other) to stop BJP from getting the highly coveted 272. Was his Delhi sojourn a disaster or collateral damage in his quest to Raisina Hill? He is certainly making the biggies nervous, and for that alone he deserves some serious thought.
Also, why do we forget there is a tiny little postscript here. It’s called the Left. Why is the PM an INC/BJP monopoly in this country? And then we moan about dynastic politics.
Moreover, nothing like a “none of the above button” in enough numbers to let the country’s kurta pyjama brigade know they need to pull up their socks. I see nothing wrong in demanding a re-poll. Atleastit’s black money being put to a better use, than say IPL. So here is my point. Whoever said there are plenty of other fish in the sea was a genius. Keeping yourself open to other viable options makes you a smart voter, instead of a narrow minded, parochial fool.

Lesser Evil? Okay.

A sentence that has been used far too often and far too loosely: Mr.Modi is the lesser evil. Do different dictionaries have different meanings of evil? It’s like saying Voldemort is a lesser evil than Dolores Umbridge.
There are two types of people who spout this gem, First, who believe Mr.Modi was a completely innocent bystander of the Gujarat riots, and his only fault was his inefficiency and failure to subdue the raging communal storm. For them, indeed Mr.Modi is the lesser evil. To these blinded men and women, all I can say is, Godspeed. And that the rose tint in their glasses is a tad too much.
The other kind areNaMo worshippers who have a highly flexible sense of morality. To them, the allegations on Mr.Modi of presiding over a pogrom, of planning and overseeing a genocide are brownie points. If tomorrow Mr.Modi was to admit his role in the 2002 riots , these people will stand by him. Because for some of them, he put Muslims in their rightful place. They had it coming. Let’s destroy Pakistan now!
For the rest, so yeah he let a few thousand people get killed, maybe even offered pointers! And his ministers might have helmed the efforts! So what? He brings development! Electing a man with so much blood on his hands to lead the country into tomorrow seems like an irreversible mistake. Remember Germany and its eerily similar leader? It’s history is tainted forever.
We don’t trust our judiciary and condemn the corruption that has eroded its very roots, and yet Modifans justify Supreme Court’s clean chit to Mr.Modi as proof of his snowy white innocence. How convenient! Mr.Modi is the only Chief Minister to have been investigated by a Special Investigation Team constituted by the Supreme Court. This team implicates senior police officials and ministers in the Gujarat government, but miraculously manages to ignore evidence supporting higher sinister involvements and systematically and thoroughly destroys it.
Top police officials who testify against Mr.Modi, and are victimised and implicated in false cases. Tehelka’s sting operation, which is perhaps the biggest proof of Mr.Modi’s involvement in the 2002 massacre is flippantly designated a paid media gimmick without any investigation. And the best counter argument? Congress leaders did the same in the Sikh Riots in ’84! So that gives BJP a free pass to do it too? Is that how we roll now? Defend a murderer by whining that the other guy killed first, instead of demanding prosecution of both?
Atleast the perpetrators of the ’84 riots aren’t prime ministerial candidates with a fan army of foolish, bigoted, blinded by false propaganda loyalists, but sidelined, out of job politicians awaiting judicial probe!

The cabinet runs the country. Prime Minister’s Office doesn’t.

To understand what constitutes development and growth, the cornerstone of the upcoming elections, a quick revision of the background of Indian economy is in order. In 1991, with some nudges from the World Bank and the IMF, India brought in economic reforms which resulted in a significant GDP boost that only slowed down in 2007-2008 owing to the global crisis. However, these policies had some unwelcome consequences.
Privatisation meant competition among corporates, who now resorted to offering kickbacks to politicians and bureaucrats in order to be favoured for these multi-million dollar deals. Massive corruption was to follow. (Example: the CWG and 2G scams). In developed countries like the USA, the credit system coupled with the neo-liberalisation schemes unleashed widespread corruption. The bursting of USA’s ‘Housing Bubble’ plummeted the world economy into the Financial Crisis, the worst the world had seen since the Great Depression of 1930. The domino effect had prompted fears of a global economic collapse. And yet, on a relative degree, India didn’t suffer half as much as other developed countries, given its economy was not fully liberalised.
The net result in India has been a slow-down in economic growth and high rates of inflation, which are causes for concern but not catastrophic. And for that, due credit should be given to the brains in the ruling government that kept our economy afloat by using their ample knowledge of economics and finance. And due brickbats should be thrown at the same minds who let corruption flare right under their noses and helped widen the already dangerous levels of inequality in income distribution.
Whom shall Mr.Modi rely on for economic advice, advice that has the potential to make or break the economy of the country?
Now, looking at BJP as a prospective ruling government, let’s remember Mr.Modi’s fondness for a one man show can’t go on at the Centre. So whom shall Mr.Modi rely on for economic advice, advice that has the potential to make or break the economy of the country? BJP’s go to men, in previous innings have been Mr.Yashwant Sinha and Mr.Jaswant Singh. Both, lets be honest, are not winning any awards for economic brilliance any time soon.
“In 1990, Sinha was finance minister in the government of Chandrashekhar, when the bottom fell out of the Indian economy… The government’s policy response then was to ship all the gold in the Reserve Bank of India’s vaults off to the Bank of England as collateral for a loan… In March 2001, soon after Sinha presented his Budget, India experienced one of its worst market crashes: about $32 billion worth of market capitalisation was wiped out that month,” reads this report of the Economic Times.
Interestingly, names of both party veterans – Mr. Sinha and Mr. Singh – fail to feature in the first four list of candidates released by the party. Oh wait, the later has been denied.
Corruption, as deep-rooted as it is, will probably still be as big a menace as it is with the UPA if the NDA is voted to power. But the economic scenario might just take a turn for the worse.
Putting all our eggs (read savings and the Indian economy as a whole) in one basket (read BJP’s very capable numbers that lack a competent economist) in these economically shaky times is tantamount to economic suicide. Fulfilling their promise of curbing inflation might not really be their cup of tea. Also, what is the guarantee that they wouldn’t want a share in the windfall gains that politicians and bureaucrats receive due to all that privatisation they help materialise? Corruption, as deep-rooted as it is, will probably still be as big a menace as it is with the UPA if the NDA is voted to power. But the economic scenario might just take a turn for the worse.

Gujarat: The price paid for its development.

Mr.Modi’s kingdom Gujarat is in the news almost as much as he himself is. Gujarat is his portfolio, everything he promises to bring to the centre is on shiny display in the state. And then there is development, the term that should perhaps be patented for Mr.Modi’s exclusive use. People in India believe in fairytales. Gujarat was a barren land of poverty and strife and NaMo waved a magic wand and lo and behold!, development was born, wrapped in a frilly pink blanket weaved by the ‘wizard of development’ himself.
The state of Gujarat is a historically progressive one that has enjoyed a climate conducive to entrepreneurship and business. Wholesale privatisation and deregulation, unsustainable indebtedness, extreme disparities in wealth, abolishment of Gandhian welfare programs, dangerous overdependence on the private sector, corporatisation of agriculture, neglect of the rural sector, unabashed corruption owing to kickbacks from corporates, environmental degradation, excessive priority given to industrialisation, ignoring welfare of labour, promotion of capital intensive manufacturing sector, infrastructure facilitating industries instead of the common man etc are just some of the drawbacks attached to Modi’s economic model for Gujarat. Are we willing to render that kind of payment at the centre?
Economic Indicators in Gujarat show a mostly positive trend. But the widespread propaganda, a very active PR machinery and an army of almost fanatic loyalists has led us to believe that the numbers are nothing short of miraculous. To clear the air, lets look at a few.
A Planning Commission report confirms that Gujarat saw 100% electrification in the year 1996-97. Yes, Modiji must be working from behind the scenes.
Modi’s fans claim that Gujarat has witnessed an exceptional growth compared to other Indian states. Interestingly, Gujarat accounted for 16.2% GDP relative to the five congruent states of Haryana, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Delhi & Andhra Pradesh in 2005, it accounted for 16.5% relative GDP in 2012. Exceptional indeed!
NarendraModi roped in Amitabh Bachchan to promote Gujarat Tourism. But the claims that have followed are lies, lies, and more lies. In 2003, Gujarat accounted for 2.3% tourist share for India and in 2011? *drumroll* 2.43%. (Ref 1, 2 & 3)
It seems like economic growth in Modi’s Gujarat has come at the cost of its social welfare and human development. A few glaringly worrisome facts:
According to the National Sample Survey Organisation (NSSO) (2011-2012), Gujarat has among the lowest average daily wages for casual labour in urban areas: Rs 144.52; national urban average is Rs 170.10. Profit only for corporates in Modi’s Gujarat.
The hunger index — only about 43 per cent of children under ICDS in the state are of normal weight, according to an Indian Institute of Public Administration report. Modi gives credit to vegetarianism and figure consciousness.
In 2010-11, Gujarat spent 15.9 per cent of its budget on education, when Bihar, Chhattisgarh, Haryana, Kerala, Maharashtra, Orissa, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal spent between 16 and 20.8 per cent. The national average was 16.6 per cent. Money only for Adani.

Corruption and Moditva.

Another keypoint this election is corruption. And the BJP plans to eradicate it if they come to power. Lofty plans I say. Especially when their PM candidate went all the way to the Supreme Court to oppose the appointment of Justice R. A. Mehta according to the Gujarat Lokayukta Act. Subsequently the state government amended the Lokayukta Act to make it a toothless body under the control of the very government whose corruption it was supposed to monitor.
Always having been outspokenly critical in matters of corruption, Modi’s developmental activities haven’t exactly been clean.
“Adani has, over the years, leased 7,350 hectares–much of which he got from 2005 onward–from the government in an area called Mundra in the Gulf of Kutch in Gujarat. FORBES ASIA has copies of the agreements that show he got the 30-year, renewable leases for as little as one U.S. cent a square meter (the rate maxed out at 45 cents a square meter). He in turn has sublet this land to other companies, including state-owned Indian Oil Co., for as much as $11 a square meter. Between 2005 and 2007 at least 1,200 hectares of grazing land was taken away from villagers.” Tata and its Nano Project are also pretty close to Mr.Modi’s heart. And his pockets. (Ref 6)

Does false marketing, hoodwinking, propaganda of lies and a lot of hot air and no substance qualify as corruption? Only a minute fraction of the MOUs signed in the exorbitant ‘Vibrant Gujarat Summits’ are actually implemented. All talk and no deeds make Vibrant Gujarat a dull ploy!
The extremely tech savvy CM boasts of a million followers on Twitter and Facebook. Yet reports claim that more than 50% of these are inactive or fake accounts. With models losing their clothes in support of Modiji’s campaign, the numbers, fake and real, are expected to go up! (Ref 9 & 10)
Mr.Modi has been trying to outrun a lot of truths, and planting a lot of lies. And in this endeavour, well known firm APCO Worldwide is lending a very helpful hand. In their very impressive client list of dictators, criminals, business tycoons, governments and agencies, Mr.Modi, to nobody’s surprise, fits right in. I wonder how the ‘incorruptible’ man manages to pay their bills.

BJP: Broken Janata Party.

There have been talks about how our country needs an autocratic, no-nonsense leader. And Mr.Modi fits the bill. Modiji, and his fan army can’t take a joke, and shut down websites that want to have a little harmless fun at his expense. Apparently, insider jokes are a no-no too, with Mr.Modi turning on his mentor, and grabbing the PM nominee’s chair, right from under Mr. L K Advani’s, well, backside.
Mr.Modi is overseeing the building of the tallest statue in the world, right in his backyard. The 182 metre high, Rs. 2500 crore ‘Statue of Unity’ in the River Narmada. Shri Sardar Patel, who ironically lobbied to ban the RSS in his life, is to be immortalised in iron in what can only be called a naked display of power or a foolish use of the taxpayers money.
The BJP seems divided when it comes to their golden boy, and though they are trying to keep a united front, the cracks are visibly growing. Modiji also seems to be a fan of some good ol’ hedonism.For your viewing pleasure, Mr.Modi is overseeing the building of the tallest statue in the world, right in his backyard. The 182 metre high, Rs. 2500 crore ‘Statue of Unity’ in the River Narmada. Shri Sardar Patel, who ironically lobbied to ban the RSS in his life, is to be immortalised in iron, in what can only be called a naked display of power or a foolish use of the taxpayers money. Even the tourism this statue shall bring will take a few light years to recover that kind of moolah, not to mention the cost of maintenance of this iron statue that will stand in a sea of moisture. Quick chemistry lesson folks. ‘Rust is an iron oxide, usually red oxide, formed by the redox reaction of iron and oxygen in the presence of water or air moisture’.
With the UPA as hapless as the Indian Cricket team was in the Asia Cup, and the NDA as united as Kejriwal and Anna, a hotpotch coalition seems to be on the cards. And that won’t do any favours to the Indian Economy and the market, which is in dire need of a stable government.
Hindutva and development are the only issues Modiji seems comfortable with. And his history, geography and economics need some really thorough revision. NarendraModi is a polarising and divisive individual who doesn’t shy away from using brute force. His disregard for human rights, women’s rights, humanity, secularism, social welfare and equality make him a dangerous man to helm a country as diverse as India. Mr.Modi, a self proclaimed Hindu Nationalist, who keeps company of the likes of Amit Shah and Subramanian Swamy is a known perpetrator of hatred and communal divide. His hunger for power, absence of emotions and and ambitions to take over the world are in consistence with those of a sociopath. By giving Mr.Modi a passage into the Prime Ministers Office, we shall be responsible for exacerbating issues that threaten this nation. Can we comfortably ignore all the signs that point towards a person’s incapability to run a country with fairness, skill, equality and justice? His election will be convenient to a privileged few, but at the cost of the future of the rest of us Indians. I am not ready to pay that price. You shouldn’t be either.

The Full Moon and the Diamond covered Earth

At the first day of work after the trip, a friend asks me, “Hey Bro, How was the trip? What all did you see” To which I replied, “Every meter of the 11000 I rode.”

The love the road gives has a different tinge to it every moment, but the heart remains the same. The gush of wind on the face is a constant companion throughout. At times it will come telling you with dust and soot that how polluted the world has made it and sometimes it comes to romance you with the cool breeze with perfumes from the woods around and then leaves you with a red nose after the love making.

The 1100km in 60 hours with more than 26 hours on the road didn’t exhaust us. It gave us a high that no intoxicant ever could. A high from the throttle, from the rumble of Shera, from the curvy never ending roads and most of all the romance of the eye and the surroundings.

This trip was earlier planned for 4 days, but due to lack of holidays we decided to work on Friday in morning shift( 6 am to 2pm) and leave at 4, Indian Standard Time was followed strictly and we departed correctly at 5 pm.  We took the little longer route from Morbi to Anjar to Bhuj. We reached Bhuj at 2 am and put up at Hotel Swagat.

The next morning saw us depart for Kala Dunger and the White desert. A 90 km ride to Kala Dunger from Bhuj is amazing with desert vegetation on both sides and Banjaras’ movable huts lining the road. Kala Dunger is the highest point in Kutch rising to 500 meters above sea level. It has a Jain temple atop it. But the most fascinating thing of it is the view. In the backdrop of rocky hills is the White Desert and the the Rann of Kutch lake, across which is the border we share with our sweet little neighbours.

After the steep roads of Kala Dunger it was time for the salty roads of the White desert. Retracing 40km back the same road to a BSF Check post that issues permits to enter the white Rann and then 30km further to the Gujarat Tourism’s tent city created for Rann utsav.

The city created is well, plastic beauty. In the amazing natural beauty of the land which consists of World’s largest Salt Desert, one doesn’t create tents with AC, a swimming pool outside and waiters to serve them continental food. It is time that Indian Tourism learnt what treasures they possess and Sell the very same virgin as they are.

After a nice chat with the BSF personals asking us about our road trip and how RE Bullet is THE bike( YAY) we decided to enter the salt lands from a 5 km off road detour because on the main road, they ask you to park your vehicles in the parking( again, FUCK MAINSTREAM). 

Suddenly, all we could see around us was a HUGE white expanse of land. The view is unimaginable because you would have seen nothing you would have seen. To come close, imagine rock hard snow next to the ocean with the sun bright as ever making the snow shine as diamonds. Baffled? Imagine our state then!

Trapped prisoners been granted freedom was how we throttled our bikes round and round until we experienced another surprise, the marsh is pretty bad and me and Prinja had our Royal Enfields stuck in the snowy disguise of the marsh. Used the little left energy in us and lifted them out. The next instant we were on our backs feeling the hard salt on our necks and the vast expanse of Blue over us.

For 5 hours we lived the magic. Of the sun going down from one horizon turning the salts golden sparkling diamonds and the Moon rising from the other turning the golden into silver shimmers. I am very sure no metaphors of mine can do justice to what splendor my eyes are reminding me of. The full moon added to the grandeur.  Seeing the moon shine over the diamonds made me forget the universe where we cry in everyday. In the universe, where we forget how at every arm’s length we find the most beautiful sights ever created.

After the introspecting and wondering, and swimming in an ocean of awe, we headed back towards Bhuj. In the way we encountered another set of Bike wanderers. Amazingly, they were travelling from Pune to witness the full moon over white salts of Kutch. After our ‘Ride Safe’ salutations we finished one of the best days of our lives.

Next morning was the last morning of our trip. We headed South towards the coastal town of Mandavi. There, we expected to be disappointed, and the mortals were kind enough to make our wish true. Camels (and their dungs), Gola sellers, beggars, Maawa packets, amazing invention of plastic lining the Ocean. Within 5 minutes we were off (we didn’t want our surreal trip to become real again).

But Mandavi made up for all reputation with its second offering, the Vijay Vilas Palace. Made by the Kutch Maharaja a hundred years ago, it is very well maintained for many Bollywood movies are shot here (read Hum Dil De Chukenge Sanam). Amazingly regal and royal, one would love to live in such a luxury. Due to the little constraint in time, we didn’t go see the Beach resort and headed back on out 400 km ride towards reality.

After taking a lot of detours towards shorter( so we thought) routes, eating at a Punjabi Dhaba near GandhiDham( amazing Punjabi food after so long) and drinking a LOT(12-14 cups) of tea( it was COLD) we returned from the home we called road to the so called home.

Those 60 hours gave us new meanings and perspectives to everything. Roads aren’t just paved rocks, they are a universe of their own, bikes aren’t just modes of transport, they are lovers that would never leave you, and riding is not just a way to reach a destination, it is a lifestyle that we plan to live in.

 

 

How a 6 km ride turned into a 200 km adventure.

Today started off as a usual Sunday morning, with no food in the kitchen. My stomach started fighting with my brain to find some food. As usual, my brain won and the stomach had to be content with, water.

Also, as usual I had to go to work in the afternoon shift on Sunday, 2pm to 10pm. (sounds interesting, right?) With heavy steps I descended the stairs and kick started Shera( My Royal Enfield Bullet). Even he grumbled, before starting halfheartedly to carry me the 6km to the refinery to earn the daily wage of 1300 rupees.

In the parking Bedi, Katiyar, Ashu and Lala also looked to be off to somewhere. Out of courtesy, I said my greetings and asked them their destination. “Bechtel Beach” they announced in unison, with a large smile dangling from their excited faces. “Chal saath!” was their next sentence.

A road trip, an unexplored place and good company. It already sounded like Christmas. BUT, I had an afternoon shift and it was only 15 minutes to the ‘punch in’ time. I declined, with a sobbing heart. I followed them till the main gate, from where they would head off towards Bechtel and I towards my 1300 rupees. The main gate was symbolic of life. I was taking the turn opposite to where I wanted to go. I honked on top of Shera’s voice. Bedi and Ashu stopped.In a sudden rush of moment, my heart bypassed my brain and said, “Chal, main bhi chalta hun”.

Shera had Bedi’s Avenger 220 and Katiyar’s Apache 180 for company. A 92 km ride from the Reliance township, Bechtel is a beach that is in close proximity to Dwarka, the famous Hindu city where Krishna ji lived.

Dressed in the Reliance uniform (with safety shoes) I was a sight for people who we passed. It was also because Shera was rumbling loudly with happiness and we (Me and Bedi) were 2 Sardars riding alongside. (Sardars are a rare sight (surprisingly) in the Kathiawar region of Gujarat).

One thing I have noticed over my road travels is that the Roadways bus drivers are same everywhere. They are always in the mood to kill you, and drive their buses as if they are high end sports car, having sharp cut turns and A one acceleration. Also all of them look high. The Punjab, Haryana roadways drivers on Afeem, Pahadis(Uttarakhand and Himachali) on Charas and Gujarati drivers on Mawa.

An amazing ride was aided by excellent (though single laned) roads, a picturesque semi-arid backdrop and a cool post winter (winters in Gujarat equals sprig in North India) breeze. With a tea stop in between, it took us 2 hours to reach there. With huge windmills embarking the beach, it was still hard to find, as it had no specified entrance to it. A little off-roading on the sandy earth lead us to the wide expansive ocean that welcomed us with a mystic musical note.

The best thing about Bechtel is that it is virgin from the exploits of the great Indian businessmen and tourists who have left no stones unturned in making every famous Indian beach(Chowpatty, Juhu, Nagua, Baga, Calangute, Marina, Deegha) into a large sandy garbage bin. At Bechtel the sound of the ocean clattering against the shore is uninterrupted and the sand is devoid of plastics. An hour at that peace haven saw us refreshed, spiritually and physically.

The return journey saw us riding against the sunlight, and hence with increased speeds and a delayed stopover at which we treated ourselves with some traditional Mirchi ki Bhajiya(pakode). Our return to home was perfectly in sync with the sun’s entry into its own den.

This ride has definitely given the lion a scent that there are a lot of prey in the jungle which are eager to be hunted down. And as I have said before, when you drive a car you see the world through a glass, but when you ride a bike, you yourself are the glass.

Until the next journey, Shera conveys its regards.

About Bechtel Beach:

92 km from Reliance township.

115 km from Jamnagar

13 km from Dwarka

Best time to go: November to February, at sunset

Best way to go: You have read it above 😉

For the love of sliding tackles

A 25 yard volley, an ankle crunching sliding tackle and a perfectly executed through ball are things that increase the level of serotonin (happiness inducing hormone) in my body. Football has been way more than just a game for me (you must have heard this phrase being used by a billion people trillion times, but I guess that is why they call it the world’s most followed religion).

I was a perfect Indian at birth. Yes, growing up to be a diehard cricket fan. Knowing the names of all cricketers and fighting with friends about the better one. My long summer holiday afternoons were spent in playing world cup simulations between me and my verandah wall. I was on the perfect track to become a world class cricketer.

It was in School where I learnt all my lessons, in every literal and metaphorical sense. My first coach was Mr. Balwinder Singh (lovingly called DP sir), a typical PTI for his English and antiques, but, having a heart of pure gold. Our PT/Games periods were mostly spent practicing Football (he liked making us believe we were doing the very same with the amazing trapping and kicking techniques).

But how so less he knew, those 40 minutes of running behind the ball and trying to score were my discovery of fire and wheel of the Stone Age.
But cricket still fascinated me a lot more, (‘hooked me’ or’ kept me addicted’ would be better phrases). We had inter House sport tournaments for the Primary and Senior sections. In early classes I eased into both Football and Cricket teams for my house, faring well in both of them. Yes, I was still on course to be the next Sachin Tendulkar.

In summer vacations we had a camp organized at school, Football from 6 to 7 am, and Cricket from 7 to 9 am. I registered immediately. For cricket ofcourse. But as the bus would only ply at 6 and 9 am, I took the lesser sport anyway. I always played the first sport because DP sir liked me. Football was just an hour of fun with friends before some intense practicing of the god sport.

Getting into senior year was the turning point. The other wing of the school building’s water was dirty. Because of it, I didn’t get into the school cricket team. DP sir now was done with his indirect hints, and sent me back from the next cricket trials towards a Football practice happening across the field. That day I sulked a lot and then came to a conclusion that my verandah’s wall was the culprit.

I was now fat and slow, and fat. Football can’t be played by slow fat people.

Then like a knight in shining armour came Mr Deepak, St. Kabir’s first football coach(he is still there I guess), and that knight expectedly deemed me unfit. After a lot of running, and sprinting and then running, and maybe some jogging, I was given 2 bananas (literally) as an award for being the most improved player.( I lost a few kilos, was sharp and could kick the ball amazingly well (please let me boast)). Bananas have been my favorite fruit ever since. I was made a defender (thought myself to be a striker (and a cricketer) before) because of my built and style of play. Was also called the ‘Shaktiman truck’ because of the same. Deepak sir made us love this game. He made players out of noobs. In simpler terms, he taught us to kick instead of using the toe. Chaddah, Jimmy, Bunny, Mani, Guri, Grover, Bedi and a lot more friends got tied to each other for a lifetime by bruising each other’s shins and then bonding over classroom snacking afterwards.

Sliding tackles and long burly clearances have remained my life since then. They have been the pole star to the fast running life that is almost on the verge of pulling me away from my carefree youth. The sight of goalposts and a Football still bring that big smile onto my face and makes my howsoever tired, but jealous legs run behind that striker to bring him down and keep the spirit of the beautiful game alive in me.

I will leave a cup of coffee for a mug of Beer, a mug of Beer for a hot teetoddler woman, and everyone of them for a crazy ankle twisting game of football.