European Backpacking 1.0 : München

When you are young, you are scared. Scared of what the future holds in store for you. You start doing damage control in the present, under the cloak of that fear. In a hope that the future is better, the future is rosier, we make the roses of the present wither under these thorns.

One year of lacklustre work, that was paying me grand, but leading me nowhere, helped me have the best 3 weeks of my life. All I needed was, some hope, a lot of courage and a childhood friend to help me take the plunge.
P.S: I quit my job 2 days after coming back. That story, and plenty more, in the posts that follow.

“After all, we all live for the stories”

The Bavarian countryside

The Bavarian countryside

This story is from the Bavarian city of Munich. These people do not like calling themselves German. Do not speak a lot of German tongue, and definitely get offended when you mistake their beer for the German brew!
By our Indian watches, it was late late into the night. But the Bavarian horizon was alit. Alit in the European Summer dusk. Getting off, we had to run. Yes, run. Germany vs Algeria at 10pm. We hustled for tickets on the automated ticket machine. Zones, circles, single tickets were confusing us. So some nice Germans helped us, and off we were after a 10 euro ticket (Yes, the airport is far off from the main city). Got off at Hauptbahnhof (Central train station) and ran off to find the nearest bar. It was crowded. Rajeev Chowk crowded. We stood outside.
Suddenly we noticed standing outside was not a very good idea, as we were literally being pulled into bars around. Eureka! It was a red light area. We ran inside the Rajeev Chowk (Yes, I do not remember the name) bar.

The Old White Haired German in a heavy grunted voice (Germany is playing, and he can’t see the match, what should have we expected) shouted at us to order 2 drinks as varun said he didn’t want to drink. “You’re at a bar not a public park, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK”. A beer and a coke arrived in a jiffy. In extra time, Deutschland won. The streets went crazy. Like mayhem.

After the match we were in for a surprise. Found out that peeing costs half a Euro. Rs 40 to pee. WHAAAAAAT?

Took a tram ticket to the hostel. * Deutschland Deutschland singing in the background*. The hostel was called the TENT! Yes, it actually was a humungous tent with 100 dorm beds in it. While checking in, the receptionist handed us over 5 blankets. We very proudly mentioned, we are from North India, we do have winters and the weather right now is okay. By next morning, I could see the hostel guy secretly laughing at me. I had all the 5 blankets over me, and still was trembling. God bless the European summer.

This is how 'THE TENT' looks like

This is how ‘THE TENT’ looks like

Hungry as ever from the cold, we got into the guest kitchen, cooked some readymade Bhaaji Varun had got. The kitchen had some items donated by fellow travelers, and we found bread and butter among them. While eating, we met an Irish guy, who was interning in the Chinese Biergarten. He told us the water in the taps is drinkable. We (Being Indians) laughed and told him, that drinking undrinkable water from our taps has made our stomachs relatively immune.

We took a day tram pass (valid for 24 hours) and were off to see the city. Our first stop was the city centre, MeriemPletz with a score of big designer showrooms. Every sixty minutes from a high rise building, statues were propelled out telling old Bavarian tales with ear pleasing bagpipe music. Seeing the architecture we thought it was a church, but it was the townhall(Gothic Neues Rathaus)! The church Peterskirche was just behind us. Being a typical European city centre, the streets were abuzz with musicians painting the air melodious.

Gothic Neues Rathaus

Gothic Neues Rathaus

After a cold rainy European summer night, it was bright and sunny. We sat around a park near the city centre and followed the German tradition of mixing the sun with some Beer. After the beer, we wanted to see some fast cars, Comes naturally you see. Off to the BMW Museum we were. It was located in the Olympic Village. If you’re a cars fan, you will definitely have an orgasm. Add a couple of Rolls Royce to them, and you may even die.

047 042

We were thirsty. But water was very very expensive. And it was still sunny, remember the German sun rule? Abiding by it, we took the train for the English gardens. Reaching the station we found out that there was a wing of the Munich University nearby. Was glad to see majority of students cycling to college. Hello Indian students, I too drive motor vehicle to college. We are (un)cool like that.

Let us cycle people!

Let us cycle people!

English Gardens was a huge piece of Green! A stream passing through the middle of it made it the perfect picnic spot. Frisbees flying around, football kicked over the stream, sunbathing people AND people SURFING. Eager as hell to join them, I quickly lied down on the grass on the edge of the stream, and started dreaming. After a lot of sun soaking and surfing, we walked to the other side where the Chinese Gartens were. We said Hi to the Irish guy we met at the hostel, and bought a couple of Hell Beers (most famous in Oktoberfest) and a BBQ chicken. A couple of liters in those big big mugs made us thirstier. After devouring the chicken, and burping the beer aftertaste, we headed off to Hofbrauhaus, the world’s oldest beer hall. We were to meet a friend there. Here came the 2 liters of the heavenly wheat Brew. The hall smelled of chicken and pretzels and the atmosphere was ripe with the melody of the trumpets and the din of the drunken people. The company and the atmosphere made us love that place even more. (Thank you Madalina :D)

Hell Beer and Chicken :D

Hell Beer and Chicken 😀

We went to our hostel, very tired, very sleepy, but still managed to watch the match with 40 other travelers who had made ‘THE TENT’ their night abode. Amidst the warmth emitted by the bonfire, guitars and jokes made the atmosphere even cosier. Slept late, but slept content. Checked out early in the morning to catch our tram to the bus station. On that wee hour tram we found a couple of fellow English travelers. One of them was joining the London Police next month (Yay, I have a friend there too now) we were too early at the bus station, had some Fafda with pickle (Yes, Varun had that packed with him too) and waited some more. The bus was late, and empty. With just 6 people on board, and the no speed limit rule on the Autobahn, we were on the high road to Prague 😀

Save the Good Ol’ Blogging

After a long day’s work, he comes back home. Lights the fire and hangs his coat behind the door. Pours in a glass of scotch, lights a cigarette and picks up the pen and paper to pour down everything that had occurred to him during the day. He was good at making mental notes, and having a sharp memory helped him pour it down on the paper under the flickering orange light of the fire.

This is an image long lost, long extinct. Good old writing is dead. Well, it had to. Modern technology brought in typewriters, then computers, laptops and now smart phones. Books became Ebooks and kindle smirked at the library around the corner.

I still did not complain. I too am writing this on a laptop. I too read my newspaper on a smart phone and I too have lost my library membership card in a pile of prehistoric books.
But, what I complain of, is the commercialization of blogging. An art that came as a pleasant gift to the reading world. A world where non authors painted their imagination on a canvas called the internet. Where the non reader read a small article and debated about it with his friends. A world which made reading and writing cool again. Food blogs for the gastronomes, travel blogs for the people living out of backpacks, verse blog for the people with a taste for scotch( and rhyming) and technology blogs for the geeks.

But all of them, were nicely structured, lovely to read articles. Formed of sentences, with interjections and punctuations. Paragraphs changed to shift the mood of the reader, and exclamations put to make them jump off their streets.

Do you have a sense of nostalgia right now? If yes, you too can join the ‘Save Good Ol’ Blogging’ group.
A kid born today would never see what the age of blogging looked like. Books would still be kept as showpieces in the living room, but these words written would be lost in this enormous internet cloud. What they are seeing in the name of blogging is: “10 best blah, and 20 photos for blah blah, and a million other blahs popping up”
Yes, photos are nice for the eye, and a .gif’s are funny. But the way words describe an emotion is unparalleled.
For example I have put below, a photo of the sunset from one of trips to Rann of Kutch. Thought the picture is nice, how I would put them to words is:

“It is a couple of minutes to 5 pm and the sun has started its homeward journey. Turning orange of its tiredness it yawns across to see the white salt of the desert shimmering as if it was saying goodbye. To every meter the sun went down the horizon, the desert changed its colour from orange to red,red to brown, before finally turning a pale black because of sadness. It now waits for its other friend, the moon to turn up. It knows how moody the moon is. It would only show its complete face once a month, and it was this day today. The Rann always thought why can’t I have both my present with me at the same time?”

Writing this gave me the nostalgia I was looking for, and I am very sure you will garner more out of the imagery of the text, that you did out of that photo.

Long things short, I wrote this article only to bring out the reader back in people. Don’t let your wordpress or blogspot profiles lose to instagrams and picasa’s. Even a million pixel camera will never capture what a nice little paragraph would. Words have always kept the essence of memories and stories alive, don’t let them die.

Till next time, keep blogging, keep reading.

The Chaiwala Team

After months of a marketing campaign that would have left people at Ogilvy in shame, Mr. Narendra ‘Chaiwala’ Modi has been sworn as the 15th Prime Minister of the biggest democracy on this watery planet.

We Indians like change. And in a democratic setup, a change is of utmost importance. Change to show that a particular surname will not run this country forever, a change to show that we Indians have finally grown an interest in politics, even though it is only restricted to Social Media( In our defence, sitting on a laptop all night long fighting over status updates is tough).

Even though I was another vocalist singing for change, I never liked the Hindutva music of the saffron brigade’s khadi shorts. But this time around, the shorts gang was singing a new tune.

“Namo Namo Namo”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9ucpaT5xjg

(This is just too amazing not to share). Listening to this tune, I grabbed my old civics book and read about Indian Lok Sabha elections. No, this was not the American Presidential elections where you vote for the leader and do not even look at the candidate who has applied from your constituency.

As much as I criticise the way people have voted, I must admit the only party that deserved to win was BJP. INC were busy creating a pit for the Shehzaada, and Mr. Kejriwal had already jumped into one himself, resigning from Delhi’s Chief Minister’s post.  

In short, I am happy. Happy that Indians still are unsatisfied, and still dream of a first world India and will continue reminding politicians that they are being watched.

This post is not about whether Mr. Modi is the correct Prime Ministerial choice, but about the dilemma I have always had: What Cabinet will Mr. Modi have once he is elected to the PMO? Because one thing is clear, INC and LEFT have been grooming intellectuals for years, the BJP continues to overlook this aspect of politics.

People may disagree, but in my opinion you need to have proper knowledge and education to run a portfolio, that too at the highest level of administration in India. But given the options (they were very few) Mr. Modi has managed a decent cabinet, who I score 6.5/10 on face value (I would love them for proving me wrong, on the positive end of the scale).

I will divide my opinion into 3 sections: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of the Cabinet selection.

THE GOOD:

  • The Factor that Modi has selected a small team is amazing. I am a big fan of “Jeff Bezos’ 2 pizza a Team principle” Smaller cabinet for quick decisions is an amazing concept being drafted into the highest administrative office of India.
  • Mr. Arun Jaitley: Honestly, the only minister who would fit into any Cabinet, and into any role. Having a very clean image, he is well respected amongst all political circles.
  • Getting some very smart and educated people on board. Mr. Harsh Vardhan( the almost CM of Delhi) is an ENT Surgeon and knows the health sector inside out.And Gen VK Singh, who even after the controversies is the best person who can lead the North Eastern region out of the chaos it is in.
  • One of another pleasant news from this front is that 1/4th of the Cabinet are women.( though I expected better people than Ms. Irani and Ms. Bharti)
  • I was so happy to know that the goons (Shiv Sena) have a very less representation in the Cabinet. I am still clueless though, why does Maharashtra even vote for them?
  • By putting low-profile, low-ego ministers in charge of some of these ministries, Modi has probably tried to ensure that his ministers do not get into needless tussles with state governments, especially if they are run by opposition parties.

 

THE BAD:

  • There were people, who though new, were way more educated and knowledgeable about some portfolios than their present occupants. Example: Mr. Jayant Sinha is an IIT Delhi and Harvard alumnus having studied Business Administration from the Ivy League wonder. Similarly, Mr. Abhishek Singh has a degree in industrial Relations from XLRI. But I know, degrees are not important to lead a nation, political prowess is.
  • Smriti Irani: A Miss India aspirant who is just a “Class 12th pass “and has never been to college been given the HRD Portfolio. Are you kidding me? Though many people may debate against it, this is very stupid. How can someone who has never been to college understand how higher education needs improvement with girls wearing makeup to become an actress?
  • A not very equal representation in the Cabinet from all the states. Himachal, Uttarakhand, Rajasthan are some of the states where, even after sweeping almost all the seats, there are only a trickle of seats visible in the Cabinet. ( I really hoped to see Maj. Gen. Khanduri on those ranks)

 

THE UGLY:

  • Uma Bharti: Why oh why? A 6th pass, 13 criminal cases, wants to “wipe off Muslims” is on the highest administrative body of the “modern India”. I agree Mr. Modi has the RSS to please, but he has sealed Ganga’s fate. It is never getting cleaned.
  • A cabinet Minister’s average worth is Rs. 18.66 crore. Where? Where does this money come from? Why cannot India have middle class Ministers?
  • 27 Criminal cases against the Ministers in the Cabinet. Whatever happened to having a clean government, having people like Madam Bharti and Sanjeev Baliyan( Muzzaffarnagar MP accused of inciting violence in the recent riots) is simply making a mockery of the Indian sstem of governance.( Not that this never happened before, But we were expecting a Change.)

 

Credits: To the person who has made this amazing cartoon.

The NaMo Chant

Today I have a friend writing a ‘guest post’ for me. As I am a very confused citizen on who to vote and who not to, she gives us a strong perspective about the very same. This article was also published in the Youth Connect Magazine.

P.S: This is not a hate post, just an individual opinion which everyone has a right to express, in person or in public.

Writer: Shruti Chaturvedi
Cartoonist: Satish Acharya
Courtesy: Shagufta Khan

THE NAMO CHANT

Your vote in the upcoming elections will shape the country’s future. A choice made out of ignorance and deception might be too heavy a burden to carry on your conscience.

The Contenders.

By now you must have gathered that the NaMo chant isn’t to my taste, and most of you must have assumed my preferences run to Rahul Baba. Here is the deal. I go to bat for neither.
An anti-Modi doesn’t always a pro-Gandhi make! Let’s get our froggy heads out of whatever wells we seem to inhabit and open our eyes and ears to other possibilities. Mr.Modi and Mr. Gandhi aren’t the be all and the end all of Lok Sabha elections 2014.
Here is why jumping on the NaMo bandwagon is a bad idea of epic proportions!
The Congress, to collective relief, has already declared that RaGa (Who comes up with these syntactic disasters anyway?), with his foot in the mouth syndrome will not be taking over the family business. Speculations are ripe that NandanNilekani, former Infosys boss and brand new member of Indian National Congress will be their not so secret ‘Bhramastra’ and shall be pitted against Mr.Modi and his development.
Talking about options, the angry young man of Indian politics has stormed the country on his virtual broom and shaken the ‘Rajneeti’. Kejriwal is a bada*s and has the youth behind him. For all we know, he could turn out to be more fake than Anushka Sharma’s alleged lips. Or BJP’s plan B to divide the minority vote. Or Congress’s plan A (they seem to have no other) to stop BJP from getting the highly coveted 272. Was his Delhi sojourn a disaster or collateral damage in his quest to Raisina Hill? He is certainly making the biggies nervous, and for that alone he deserves some serious thought.
Also, why do we forget there is a tiny little postscript here. It’s called the Left. Why is the PM an INC/BJP monopoly in this country? And then we moan about dynastic politics.
Moreover, nothing like a “none of the above button” in enough numbers to let the country’s kurta pyjama brigade know they need to pull up their socks. I see nothing wrong in demanding a re-poll. Atleastit’s black money being put to a better use, than say IPL. So here is my point. Whoever said there are plenty of other fish in the sea was a genius. Keeping yourself open to other viable options makes you a smart voter, instead of a narrow minded, parochial fool.

Lesser Evil? Okay.

A sentence that has been used far too often and far too loosely: Mr.Modi is the lesser evil. Do different dictionaries have different meanings of evil? It’s like saying Voldemort is a lesser evil than Dolores Umbridge.
There are two types of people who spout this gem, First, who believe Mr.Modi was a completely innocent bystander of the Gujarat riots, and his only fault was his inefficiency and failure to subdue the raging communal storm. For them, indeed Mr.Modi is the lesser evil. To these blinded men and women, all I can say is, Godspeed. And that the rose tint in their glasses is a tad too much.
The other kind areNaMo worshippers who have a highly flexible sense of morality. To them, the allegations on Mr.Modi of presiding over a pogrom, of planning and overseeing a genocide are brownie points. If tomorrow Mr.Modi was to admit his role in the 2002 riots , these people will stand by him. Because for some of them, he put Muslims in their rightful place. They had it coming. Let’s destroy Pakistan now!
For the rest, so yeah he let a few thousand people get killed, maybe even offered pointers! And his ministers might have helmed the efforts! So what? He brings development! Electing a man with so much blood on his hands to lead the country into tomorrow seems like an irreversible mistake. Remember Germany and its eerily similar leader? It’s history is tainted forever.
We don’t trust our judiciary and condemn the corruption that has eroded its very roots, and yet Modifans justify Supreme Court’s clean chit to Mr.Modi as proof of his snowy white innocence. How convenient! Mr.Modi is the only Chief Minister to have been investigated by a Special Investigation Team constituted by the Supreme Court. This team implicates senior police officials and ministers in the Gujarat government, but miraculously manages to ignore evidence supporting higher sinister involvements and systematically and thoroughly destroys it.
Top police officials who testify against Mr.Modi, and are victimised and implicated in false cases. Tehelka’s sting operation, which is perhaps the biggest proof of Mr.Modi’s involvement in the 2002 massacre is flippantly designated a paid media gimmick without any investigation. And the best counter argument? Congress leaders did the same in the Sikh Riots in ’84! So that gives BJP a free pass to do it too? Is that how we roll now? Defend a murderer by whining that the other guy killed first, instead of demanding prosecution of both?
Atleast the perpetrators of the ’84 riots aren’t prime ministerial candidates with a fan army of foolish, bigoted, blinded by false propaganda loyalists, but sidelined, out of job politicians awaiting judicial probe!

The cabinet runs the country. Prime Minister’s Office doesn’t.

To understand what constitutes development and growth, the cornerstone of the upcoming elections, a quick revision of the background of Indian economy is in order. In 1991, with some nudges from the World Bank and the IMF, India brought in economic reforms which resulted in a significant GDP boost that only slowed down in 2007-2008 owing to the global crisis. However, these policies had some unwelcome consequences.
Privatisation meant competition among corporates, who now resorted to offering kickbacks to politicians and bureaucrats in order to be favoured for these multi-million dollar deals. Massive corruption was to follow. (Example: the CWG and 2G scams). In developed countries like the USA, the credit system coupled with the neo-liberalisation schemes unleashed widespread corruption. The bursting of USA’s ‘Housing Bubble’ plummeted the world economy into the Financial Crisis, the worst the world had seen since the Great Depression of 1930. The domino effect had prompted fears of a global economic collapse. And yet, on a relative degree, India didn’t suffer half as much as other developed countries, given its economy was not fully liberalised.
The net result in India has been a slow-down in economic growth and high rates of inflation, which are causes for concern but not catastrophic. And for that, due credit should be given to the brains in the ruling government that kept our economy afloat by using their ample knowledge of economics and finance. And due brickbats should be thrown at the same minds who let corruption flare right under their noses and helped widen the already dangerous levels of inequality in income distribution.
Whom shall Mr.Modi rely on for economic advice, advice that has the potential to make or break the economy of the country?
Now, looking at BJP as a prospective ruling government, let’s remember Mr.Modi’s fondness for a one man show can’t go on at the Centre. So whom shall Mr.Modi rely on for economic advice, advice that has the potential to make or break the economy of the country? BJP’s go to men, in previous innings have been Mr.Yashwant Sinha and Mr.Jaswant Singh. Both, lets be honest, are not winning any awards for economic brilliance any time soon.
“In 1990, Sinha was finance minister in the government of Chandrashekhar, when the bottom fell out of the Indian economy… The government’s policy response then was to ship all the gold in the Reserve Bank of India’s vaults off to the Bank of England as collateral for a loan… In March 2001, soon after Sinha presented his Budget, India experienced one of its worst market crashes: about $32 billion worth of market capitalisation was wiped out that month,” reads this report of the Economic Times.
Interestingly, names of both party veterans – Mr. Sinha and Mr. Singh – fail to feature in the first four list of candidates released by the party. Oh wait, the later has been denied.
Corruption, as deep-rooted as it is, will probably still be as big a menace as it is with the UPA if the NDA is voted to power. But the economic scenario might just take a turn for the worse.
Putting all our eggs (read savings and the Indian economy as a whole) in one basket (read BJP’s very capable numbers that lack a competent economist) in these economically shaky times is tantamount to economic suicide. Fulfilling their promise of curbing inflation might not really be their cup of tea. Also, what is the guarantee that they wouldn’t want a share in the windfall gains that politicians and bureaucrats receive due to all that privatisation they help materialise? Corruption, as deep-rooted as it is, will probably still be as big a menace as it is with the UPA if the NDA is voted to power. But the economic scenario might just take a turn for the worse.

Gujarat: The price paid for its development.

Mr.Modi’s kingdom Gujarat is in the news almost as much as he himself is. Gujarat is his portfolio, everything he promises to bring to the centre is on shiny display in the state. And then there is development, the term that should perhaps be patented for Mr.Modi’s exclusive use. People in India believe in fairytales. Gujarat was a barren land of poverty and strife and NaMo waved a magic wand and lo and behold!, development was born, wrapped in a frilly pink blanket weaved by the ‘wizard of development’ himself.
The state of Gujarat is a historically progressive one that has enjoyed a climate conducive to entrepreneurship and business. Wholesale privatisation and deregulation, unsustainable indebtedness, extreme disparities in wealth, abolishment of Gandhian welfare programs, dangerous overdependence on the private sector, corporatisation of agriculture, neglect of the rural sector, unabashed corruption owing to kickbacks from corporates, environmental degradation, excessive priority given to industrialisation, ignoring welfare of labour, promotion of capital intensive manufacturing sector, infrastructure facilitating industries instead of the common man etc are just some of the drawbacks attached to Modi’s economic model for Gujarat. Are we willing to render that kind of payment at the centre?
Economic Indicators in Gujarat show a mostly positive trend. But the widespread propaganda, a very active PR machinery and an army of almost fanatic loyalists has led us to believe that the numbers are nothing short of miraculous. To clear the air, lets look at a few.
A Planning Commission report confirms that Gujarat saw 100% electrification in the year 1996-97. Yes, Modiji must be working from behind the scenes.
Modi’s fans claim that Gujarat has witnessed an exceptional growth compared to other Indian states. Interestingly, Gujarat accounted for 16.2% GDP relative to the five congruent states of Haryana, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Delhi & Andhra Pradesh in 2005, it accounted for 16.5% relative GDP in 2012. Exceptional indeed!
NarendraModi roped in Amitabh Bachchan to promote Gujarat Tourism. But the claims that have followed are lies, lies, and more lies. In 2003, Gujarat accounted for 2.3% tourist share for India and in 2011? *drumroll* 2.43%. (Ref 1, 2 & 3)
It seems like economic growth in Modi’s Gujarat has come at the cost of its social welfare and human development. A few glaringly worrisome facts:
According to the National Sample Survey Organisation (NSSO) (2011-2012), Gujarat has among the lowest average daily wages for casual labour in urban areas: Rs 144.52; national urban average is Rs 170.10. Profit only for corporates in Modi’s Gujarat.
The hunger index — only about 43 per cent of children under ICDS in the state are of normal weight, according to an Indian Institute of Public Administration report. Modi gives credit to vegetarianism and figure consciousness.
In 2010-11, Gujarat spent 15.9 per cent of its budget on education, when Bihar, Chhattisgarh, Haryana, Kerala, Maharashtra, Orissa, Rajasthan, Uttar Pradesh and West Bengal spent between 16 and 20.8 per cent. The national average was 16.6 per cent. Money only for Adani.

Corruption and Moditva.

Another keypoint this election is corruption. And the BJP plans to eradicate it if they come to power. Lofty plans I say. Especially when their PM candidate went all the way to the Supreme Court to oppose the appointment of Justice R. A. Mehta according to the Gujarat Lokayukta Act. Subsequently the state government amended the Lokayukta Act to make it a toothless body under the control of the very government whose corruption it was supposed to monitor.
Always having been outspokenly critical in matters of corruption, Modi’s developmental activities haven’t exactly been clean.
“Adani has, over the years, leased 7,350 hectares–much of which he got from 2005 onward–from the government in an area called Mundra in the Gulf of Kutch in Gujarat. FORBES ASIA has copies of the agreements that show he got the 30-year, renewable leases for as little as one U.S. cent a square meter (the rate maxed out at 45 cents a square meter). He in turn has sublet this land to other companies, including state-owned Indian Oil Co., for as much as $11 a square meter. Between 2005 and 2007 at least 1,200 hectares of grazing land was taken away from villagers.” Tata and its Nano Project are also pretty close to Mr.Modi’s heart. And his pockets. (Ref 6)

Does false marketing, hoodwinking, propaganda of lies and a lot of hot air and no substance qualify as corruption? Only a minute fraction of the MOUs signed in the exorbitant ‘Vibrant Gujarat Summits’ are actually implemented. All talk and no deeds make Vibrant Gujarat a dull ploy!
The extremely tech savvy CM boasts of a million followers on Twitter and Facebook. Yet reports claim that more than 50% of these are inactive or fake accounts. With models losing their clothes in support of Modiji’s campaign, the numbers, fake and real, are expected to go up! (Ref 9 & 10)
Mr.Modi has been trying to outrun a lot of truths, and planting a lot of lies. And in this endeavour, well known firm APCO Worldwide is lending a very helpful hand. In their very impressive client list of dictators, criminals, business tycoons, governments and agencies, Mr.Modi, to nobody’s surprise, fits right in. I wonder how the ‘incorruptible’ man manages to pay their bills.

BJP: Broken Janata Party.

There have been talks about how our country needs an autocratic, no-nonsense leader. And Mr.Modi fits the bill. Modiji, and his fan army can’t take a joke, and shut down websites that want to have a little harmless fun at his expense. Apparently, insider jokes are a no-no too, with Mr.Modi turning on his mentor, and grabbing the PM nominee’s chair, right from under Mr. L K Advani’s, well, backside.
Mr.Modi is overseeing the building of the tallest statue in the world, right in his backyard. The 182 metre high, Rs. 2500 crore ‘Statue of Unity’ in the River Narmada. Shri Sardar Patel, who ironically lobbied to ban the RSS in his life, is to be immortalised in iron in what can only be called a naked display of power or a foolish use of the taxpayers money.
The BJP seems divided when it comes to their golden boy, and though they are trying to keep a united front, the cracks are visibly growing. Modiji also seems to be a fan of some good ol’ hedonism.For your viewing pleasure, Mr.Modi is overseeing the building of the tallest statue in the world, right in his backyard. The 182 metre high, Rs. 2500 crore ‘Statue of Unity’ in the River Narmada. Shri Sardar Patel, who ironically lobbied to ban the RSS in his life, is to be immortalised in iron, in what can only be called a naked display of power or a foolish use of the taxpayers money. Even the tourism this statue shall bring will take a few light years to recover that kind of moolah, not to mention the cost of maintenance of this iron statue that will stand in a sea of moisture. Quick chemistry lesson folks. ‘Rust is an iron oxide, usually red oxide, formed by the redox reaction of iron and oxygen in the presence of water or air moisture’.
With the UPA as hapless as the Indian Cricket team was in the Asia Cup, and the NDA as united as Kejriwal and Anna, a hotpotch coalition seems to be on the cards. And that won’t do any favours to the Indian Economy and the market, which is in dire need of a stable government.
Hindutva and development are the only issues Modiji seems comfortable with. And his history, geography and economics need some really thorough revision. NarendraModi is a polarising and divisive individual who doesn’t shy away from using brute force. His disregard for human rights, women’s rights, humanity, secularism, social welfare and equality make him a dangerous man to helm a country as diverse as India. Mr.Modi, a self proclaimed Hindu Nationalist, who keeps company of the likes of Amit Shah and Subramanian Swamy is a known perpetrator of hatred and communal divide. His hunger for power, absence of emotions and and ambitions to take over the world are in consistence with those of a sociopath. By giving Mr.Modi a passage into the Prime Ministers Office, we shall be responsible for exacerbating issues that threaten this nation. Can we comfortably ignore all the signs that point towards a person’s incapability to run a country with fairness, skill, equality and justice? His election will be convenient to a privileged few, but at the cost of the future of the rest of us Indians. I am not ready to pay that price. You shouldn’t be either.

Game of the throne

Precautionary warning: The following article is intended to be satirical and insulting. If any of these candidates want me to edit something about them, I am open to bribes and lavish gifts.

I asked similar questions to the 3 horses that running in this derby:

 

MR. ARVIND KEJRIWAL

 

 

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Favourite food

None ( Too used to hunger strikes)

Favourite holiday destination 

The road side

Hobbies                                                                              

Dharna, Strike

Recent crush                                                

Aam aurat

Favourite  pick up line

Aam Aadmi mein bahut shakti hai, who bahut der takk khada reh sakta hai

If you were invisible for one day          

 I will lose all the publicity

Book on your bedside

 Idea of Pakistan

One person you look up to

The Cough Doctor

Favourite movie

Nayak: Ek din ka CM

Favourite song

Kyun paisa paisa karte ho, paise pe kyun marte ho

 

MR. RAHUL GANDHI

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Favourite food

Spaggeti and Pizza

Favourite holiday destination

Amethi

Hobbies

Playing with his hand

Recent crush

Barkha Dutt, now I am done with Arvind Goswami

Favourite  pick up line

Women empowerment is the way forward

If you were invisible for one day

 I will be invisible for the next 5 years.

Book on your bedside

History of Congress

One person you look up to

Mumma

Favourite movie

Shehzaade

Favourite song        

Main Aisa Kyun Hun

 

MR. NARENDRA MODI

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Favourite food

Khakda Fafda Thepla Dhokla and anything else that rhymes with them

Favourite holiday destination

USA ( A Gujarati dream)

Hobbies

Speaking, shouting, accusing, and then speaking some more

Recent crush

Meghna Patel

Favourite  pick up line    

I don’t use my hand

If you were invisible for one day

Steal Gujarat riot investigation reports

Book on your bedside

Hindutva

One person you look up to

The mirror

Favourite movie

The Burning Train

Favourite song

Main hun Don

 

Note: Cartoons posted from the internet. Credit to the cartoonists. They are amazing.